My name is Catherine, and I am a rehabilitating compulsive addicted gambler. On this 29th January 2007, it's officially 10th year of my recovery process, but I will always remember my history with gambling addiction.
Gambling addiction took away my life without killing me, it took away my family, friends, occupation, my house, and almost ruined my love life with my husband. It cost me more than what money can buy. In the meantime, I was additionally experiencing undiscovered mental and passionate medical problems and clutters I had no clue about until 2002.
I originated from the profundities of hellfire, sadness, and gloom.
My First Failed Suicide Attempt
I woke up in the hospital with swathes wrapped all around my wrists and could hear two people discussing knives all over the living room as I lost consciousness again. The only thing I can recall was everything turning blank. Now I understand that it was a complete mental and physical breakdown. A total system failure. From there I visited a dependency/mental problem centre.
I was under suicide supervision the first days in the clinic. After a short while, psychiatrist began functioning with me. And as a matter of fact, I was as well a determined gambler too. Hence, I commenced functioning with a dependence advocate also.
I tried quitting gambling without external help, but it was futile instead I had delved more into it; worse still, I even gambled when in rehab. I suppose I had not arrived at the lowest point yet.
Indeed, even following a 20 day remain in an emergency focus and suicide endeavour!
What Could Be Happening To Me?
it's known as DEPENDENCE It is an illness and a problem that is hard but possible to get over. And it turned out It was not the last time I should fight this sickness.
In some years later, I tried to end my life not due to gambling specifically rather my imprudence relating to monetary issues, and this showed the flaws in the effort I put into getting better physically and mentally.
First lesson? A properly balanced recovery program. In 2006 I thought I could have a normal life without pills and treatment for my mental illness. I tried to survive without the pills and treatment sessions, I thought my sickness was caused by my gambling addiction that leads to PTSD, manic depression, mild mania anxiety and bipolar insomnia cycles and OCD. So, in a period of two weeks with no medications? I was back to intense depression and wanting to commit self-murder. So what helped me? Without been pressured, I began taking my medicines. I was clearly at that period of anguish which was depressing.
I got back to the hospital again, with 16 days in the crisis centre and being watched for suicide attempts.
When discharged this time, I had learned from my mistakes that I have to use drugs to manage my mental/emotional health and happiness as they refer to this as being "dually diagnosed or dual diagnosis."
Along with the bitter moments in recovery, when they remind me to have faith, I took some life lessons out of it. If we are not digesting them, we won't see our development. Even if you don't get to choose your addiction, you may hit some rocks during recovery, and you should be prepared for it.
Where Can I Be Heading With This Section Of My Narrative?
To overcome an addiction in earnest, we need to break every manner acquired during the addictive phase Balance is the headstone in your recuperation route as well. Studying the techniques and instruments in detoxification and medical aid to terminate the process of dependence and clear a route for dissipating control, defence, self-justifications, and many more.
The next step is understanding that the remedial process is a long term procedure. This step is also very essential and requires complete submission.
What's more, third, having a firm 'Backslide Prevention Plan' is an absolute necessity for any individual who comes into recuperation and needs it long haul. We all understand that life situations take place. Not just the bad and bitter moments, there are also beautiful and sweet ones.
This accounts for the multitudes of questions by several popular sites when checking if you are addicted to gambling. It is the reason they posture #19.) "Did you ever have a desire to commend any favourable luck by a couple of hours of betting?" YES! For me, even when things wonderful took place, I would need to jubilee by going purportedly to have some "fun" gambling. However, my dependence was very serious I required anything I could pick up to recover, not only Gamblers Anonymous.
I utilized my gatherings and links there for my help and listening to other similar-minded dependents and have my thoughts of how subtle and crafty this ailment is. And GA showed me how vital it is to be there for others via recuperation service as others were there for me when I was a newbie.
People need to start opening their minds and be reminded about this subtle addiction. We need to disassemble the myths that have been growing in our society about this sickness and open the eyes of the sufferer of dual diagnose. Truly, managing a psychological trauma while striving to attain a state of physical well-being is exacting; however outlining my travails, makes it clear that attaining a state of physical and mental well-being is feasible and every individual struggling with a rehab can have a life of laughter and happiness even during the rehabilitation period.